


Goodbye Sunny

by Sophia96



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: A little fluff and bonding, Angst, Death of a hamster, Funeral, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 08:39:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11825094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophia96/pseuds/Sophia96
Summary: One of Phichit's hamsters dies. And Yuuri is there for him.





	Goodbye Sunny

**Author's Note:**

> My hamster died, almost two days ago now... This is basically me dealing with it.
> 
> I'm so sick of crying, I've been crying as I wrote this. And I'm crying now...
> 
> Well, I hope you'll like this story. It felt nice to write it. <3

Detroit 2014

Phichit had had a wonderful day at the rink. He completely nailed his quad toe loop out of the park. Celestino was so proud. 

He had been practicing that jump for almost two weeks, and it felt great to finally be able to succeed. Yuuri had even gotten them pizza to celebrate.

Everything was going his way, until later that evening when he was feeding his hamsters. And he noticed that Sunny wouldn’t come out of her house when her bowl was filled. And she was normally the food enthusiast of the family.

“What’s wrong?” Yuuri asked. He was throwing away the pizza boxes when he noticed his friend’s concerned expression.

“Sunny won’t come out…” Phichit said thoughtfully and opened the door to her cage, so he could make a better assessment of the situation. 

“Sunny?” The Thai man called gently and rustled the sawdust outside her door. 

Finally, he noticed a tiny nose sticking out. “Oh, thank god.” He sighed in relief. Everything seemed to be fine as she sniffed his fingers cautiously.

“She might be tired?” Yuuri suggested as he joined Phichit’s side. “She’s getting older. That means she needs more sleep…”

Phichit smiled. “I’m sure you’re right. She’s almost sixty in hamster years. Maybe it’s time to adjust the cage a little? So she won’t have to walk up the stairs to reach the water…”

“I can help.” Yuuri offered. “I can hold her while you fix.” 

Phichit nodded gratefully. “I just need her to come out. Can you hand me the treats?” 

Yuuri did as told. 

“Sunny, love? Can you come out for papa?” Phichit asked as he waved the treat back and forth outside Sunny’s house.

Finally, the hamster emerged, but she only took a couple of wobbly steps before she collapsed on the ground.

“Oh, my god.” Phichit gasped. He threw the treat aside and gently picked up his little friend. She nuzzled her nose into his hand, but didn’t move much further. 

“Yuuri?” Phichit pleaded. He didn’t know what to do, and the tears where already starting to fill his eyes.

“I’ll get the clinic on the phone.” Yuuri announced and walked away to get help.

Phichit sat down on the floor with Sunny and tried to see if he could find something wrong with her. She looked normal, except for her uncharacteristic behavior. She normally walked between his hands with much enthusiasm, now she was just lying there, with her eyes opening and closing at a slow pace.

“Please don’t die…” Phichit pleaded. “You’re too young, think of the others, they need you…”

He looked up to his other hamsters. They were all eating away happily. Completely unaware of the state their friend was in. 

“The clinic wonders how long she’s been feeling bad.” Yuuri said suddenly, as he returned to Phichit’s room.

“She… S-she was fine yesterday…” Phichit sniffled. 

Sunny had just gotten a new chewing stick, and she was very enthusiastic about it last night. He couldn’t imagine something to be wrong then.

Yuuri cringed in sympathy as he sat down next to Phichit to take a look at Sunny. 

“No, she’s only twenty three months old.” Yuuri explained to the vet on the phone. “Are you sure you can’t make an exception? We’ll pay you extra…?” 

Phichit petted Sunny’s head carefully. She had to be okay. She just had to. 

“Okay.” Yuuri sighed sadly, while squeezing Phichit’s shoulder in comfort. “Well, thank you for your time.” 

He hung up.

Phichit looked up to him with pleading eyes.

“I’m sorry…” Yuuri apologized. “The vet told me that we should make the cage as comfortable as possible for her. And let her be until morning.”

“Then what?” Phichit asked in disbelief. 

Yuuri looked away sadly. “She said that if she’s not gone by then, we could take her in, and they would give her something to make the transition easier…” 

“Transition?” Phichit repeated. The tears were already falling freely. He knew what it meant. He just didn’t want to believe it. Sunny was not even two years old. Most hamsters lived past two and a half, at least in his care. 

“Phichit… I… I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry…” Yuuri said and gently wiped away Phichit tears with some nearby tissues. 

Phichit let out a very loud and broken sob that made Yuuri flinch in shock. 

“Yuuri, I- I don’t want her to… To die.” Phichit explained. His chest suddenly hurt, a lot. Then he looked down to Sunny, who was now sleeping comfortably in his hand. “Please…”

Yuuri closed his eyes as he tried to gain strength for the both of them. “I’ll fix the cage.” He declared. “You can just hold her…”

Phichit nodded as he uselessly tried to wipe away his own tears with the tissues. He only had one free hand but the tears were coming from both of his eyes and his nose. And he had a hard time keeping up, so a few of his tears landed on Sunny. Making him feel guilty for being such a poor owner to her. 

What had he done wrong? How long had she felt this bad without him knowing? Why did he spend his entire day at the rink, instead of being with her? 

Now it might be the last time he would ever hold her like this. This might be the last time he would see her like this. 

Alive.

……………………..

“There we go.” Yuuri announced. He had taken cotton and turned it into a tiny bed for her inside of her house. He had also moved the water bottle downstairs and placed the food bowl closer to the house. In case she got hungry or thirsty during the night. 

“She… She still hasn’t woken up…” Phichit sniffled. “She’s still sleeping…”

“The vet said that the best thing to do, is to let them go in peace.” Yuuri explained.

Phichit nodded and petted Sunny for what might be the last time. “You have been the best hamster I could ever ask for…” He told his tiny friend. “And I don’t want you to feel guilty for leaving, if that’s what’s best for you. I just don’t want you to feel any pain…” 

“I don’t think she will.” Yuuri said carefully. “She looks unconscious. I’m sure it won’t be long now…” 

Phichit gently placed her down on the cotton bed before releasing another loud and broken sob.

Yuuri’s arms were wrapped around him in the very next second. “She’ll be okay.” He assured. “She has a cozy bed and she’s close to everything she might need. And who knows, she might feel better in the morning?”

Phichit shook his head. “She won’t feel better.”

Yuuri hugged him tighter in response. “I’m so sorry, Phichit. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. 

Phichit was grateful for Yuuri. He would have never been able to do all of this by himself. He was just crying like a child, with no clue what to do. He just hoped that Sunny wouldn’t feel any pain as she passed. Deep down he knew that she wouldn’t be gone forever. She would probably come back as a queen. She lived a good life as a hamster. Her karma had to be good enough for her to be born in a castle instead of a cage the next time.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Yuuri suggested. “I don’t think you should sit here all night…”

Phichit nodded against Yuuri’s shoulder. A selfish part of him wished that she would live until morning, so he would get another chance to say goodbye. But the more dominant part just wished for it to be quick and painless.

Sunny deserved to die as she had lived. 

Happy.

………………….

Phichit couldn’t focus on any of the movies. His mind was completely occupied with thinking about Sunny. Was she still alive? Did she pass? Was she in pain? Did she walk out of her house? Was she feeling alone?

Yuuri looked at his phone for probably the twentieth time. The sun had begun to rise outside their window. And the animal clinic opened in an hour. If Sunny weren’t gone, they would have to take her in.

“Do you think…?” Phichit couldn’t bring himself to finish the question. 

“I don’t know…” Yuuri admitted. “Do you want me to check?”

Phichit nodded. He didn’t want to see it for himself. He didn’t want to see Sunny dead. He would rather remember her, as she had been the day before yesterday, happy and full of life.

Yuuri tugged on his leg that was currently held in place by Phichit’s body. 

“Sorry.” The Thai man apologized as he moved away.

“It’s fine.” Yuuri assured with a half-hearted smile. Before he made his way into Phichit’s bedroom.

Phichit looked after him, and listen sharply after the sounds. He heard Yuuri open the cage and lift away the house.

He didn’t want to ask whether or not she was alive. He knew he wasn’t going to like the answer.

After what seemed like an eternity, Yuuri emerged from his room. Yuuri didn’t have to say anything. Phichit could tell by the look of his face.

Sunny was gone.

Phichit felt the tears bubbling up again, as Yuuri walked towards him with quick steps and pulled him into his embrace. “It’s going to be okay, Phichit. She’s in a better place now…” 

Phichit held onto Yuuri like a lifeline. He always knew this day would come. His mom even warned him for it when he got her. 

‘Animals dies’ She had said. ‘And you tend to get way too over-attached…’

Phichit hated how right she was. His hamsters were almost like his babies. And he couldn’t believe that he had just lost one of them.

“We could arrange a nice little funeral for her?” Yuuri asked carefully. “Give her a proper send-off?”

Phichit nodded. He knew funerals for hamsters were mostly something parents did for their kids, so they would get a better understanding on what death truly meant. 

He was an eighteen-year-old man. But it still seemed right to have a funeral for her. 

She deserved it. 

…………………………

Phichit clenched the tiny casket in his hands, while Yuuri dug the hole. 

Phichit felt like he had been completely useless during this whole process. He had done nothing but crying, and sobbing and sniffling, while Yuuri had done everything else. 

It couldn’t have been easy for him either. Yuuri had grown pretty attached to all of his hamsters, and he was probably feeling very sad too.

Phichit was just feeling to overwhelmed by grief to do anything else but cry right now. 

“Do you want to put her down?” Yuuri asked as he wiped the sweat away from his forehead and placed the shovel aside.

Phichit nodded and inhaled shakily as he cried. He was exhausted, both from being up all night, and for crying all his way through it.

He took a step forward and looked between the dark hole and the casket in his hands. This was it. This was goodbye.

As gently as he could, Phichit placed the casket down in the deep hole Yuuri had dug. He then stood up and took a step back.

“Do you want to say something?” Yuuri asked gently.

Phichit shook his head. He could barely breathe, much less speak, and he had no idea what to say. 

Yuuri nodded sympathetically before clearing his throat. “Sunny.” He started. “You were a wonderful roommate and a wonderful friend. I will miss your squeaky wheel in the night. The way it kept me company when I was studying for a hard test at night.”

Phichit smiled fondly at the accurate description.

“You have always given us sunshine, to our boring student-lifestyle. And you will be greatly missed. Even if you were just a hamster, you still held an important place in my heart, and I will never forget you.” Yuuri finished. He looked to Phichit a final time before grabbing the shovel again.

“Wait.” Phichit halted. “I… I have something to say…”

Yuuri nodded and dropped the shovel back down.

Phichit did his best to swallow his tears. “I… I remember when I first got you. You were so small and daring… You… You climbed to the roof of your cage and l-let go… It almost gave me a heart attack…” Phichit said as he smiled in recollection. “I remember when you tried hamster-treats for the first time and you looked like a addict reunited with their favorite drug…” 

Yuuri walked over to Phichit so that he was standing by his side.

“You’ve always brought a smile to my face whenever I’ve been feeling down…” Phichit continued. “You’ve been an amazing role-model for the other hamsters, and I know they will miss you just as much as me. You’ve been a wonderful friend to me, ever since I left my home back in Thailand… I’ll think of you every day and I will love you forever…” 

Yuuri grabbed his hand in silent support. 

“Thank you for the time we got to have together… And I… I will miss you…” Phichit finished and gave Yuuri a nod, indicating that he was done.

Yuuri nodded back, and picked up the shovel again. “You can go and pick a flower, if you want to? This might take a few minutes…”

Phichit looked to the little garden attached to the student’s dormitory and zeroed in on a bush filled with beautiful roses. He made up his mind. They wouldn’t last for long, but they would do for now. 

They were beautiful.

Just like her.

…………………….

Phichit spent the next three hours continuing to cry. He barely knew if he was crying because he missed Sunny, or because the crying was hurting him so much.

Suddenly, there was a knock on his door. “Phichit?” Yuuri called carefully. “I… I got you ice cream… If you want?”

Phichit took a deep breath and wiped away most of his tears. “Come in.”

The door opened and Yuuri stepped in with two Ben & Jerry’s. “I didn’t know what kind you wanted, so I went for chocolate…” Yuuri explained as he handed Phichit one of them. “It usually makes me feel better when I’m sad.”

“Thank you…” Phichit sniffled.

Yuuri gave him a spoon and a tissue. “Don’t mention it…” He said with a gentle smile.

Phichit wiped away a few more tears before he dug into his ice cream. 

“Do you want to talk about it, or do you want something to distract your thoughts?” Yuuri asked. “I want to help you, but I’m not sure how…”

“Distraction, please.” Phichit pleaded. He didn’t want to cry anymore. And talking about Sunny would definitely do more harm than good right now.

Yuuri understood. So he took a deep breath before coming up with something to say. “I think Victor Nikiforov’s rink-mate, Georgi, might be a vampire…” He settled with.

Phichit almost choked on his ice cream. “What?”

“Victor posted a picture of them and hashtagged ‘late-night practice.’” Yuuri elaborated. “And when I checked Georgi’s account, I couldn’t find a single picture taken of him in the daylight…”  
………………………

Yuuri and Phichit continued the debate on what other skaters could possibly be mythological creatures, until Phichit finally let out a weak laugh.

Then they continued to talk for the rest of the day. Yuuri kept making ridiculous accusations to keep Phichit’s mind occupied. Eventually they turned on a movie, which they both fell asleep to.

They still had a long way to go before they would get over this. There was nothing they could do to bring Sunny back to life. 

She would be gone forever, and they would have to live without her. It would get easier with time, but the pain would never go away completely. No matter how big she was, she was still a part of their little family. 

And she would be greatly missed.

**Author's Note:**

> My hamster's name was Sally, and she would have turned two, in a month from now. 
> 
> She died too soon, just like Sunny. And I miss her terribly.
> 
> Death sucks!
> 
> Anyway. I hope you liked this little story, of me dealing with my own grief through these characters. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading it <3<3


End file.
